I'm a heartless Bitch

It's been four days since my arrival and all I've seen of AK is Tudor Rd, N. Lights Dr, Debarr Dr, Providence Dr, and the inside of room 384-bed 1. I have literally been consumed with the idea of my mom being in the hospital and frankly speaking, I'm OVER it. I know this sounds bad and selfish and insensitive, but it's the truth! I'm overwhelmed. They ( my aunt and my mom's bff) don't want to leave or go anyplace without me! My mom has a bad attitude one minute then apologizing the next. Then she wants us to sit in her room with her while she either sleeps or complains about pain. Oh my goodness, I am a heartless bitch.

I don't know what I thought this would be like. I mean the reasonable, sensible, side of me is saying that I'd want someone to visit me and care for me, but at the same time, would I? I mean, all we do is go and sit. Literally, all we do is go and sit. I have to do better. This time I'll take my laptop, finish my book, study my chapter for my GRE review class tonight, then start another book.

It's not about me, it's about her. This experience along with my struggle to loose 20lbs is the beginning of my selfless phase. I must overcome it.