Tuesday Night

Today I got up early and VOTED. I still haven't changed my address from our very first residence over three years ago so I didn't have to go far. Afterwards, I dropped the Senator off to catch the metro and then headed to work to do a bit of online shopping. I think I may have developed a small shopping addiction. I literally searched all day for something to purchase including my trip to Wally-World at 745 am this morning (the stop I made before going to work and getting online). I wasn't successful online, however I did find some pretty cool buys at Target after work. It was superb because the Senator got off early to VOTE and O picked him up and took him home.

I got this cardigan, except in the sequence of Fall-ish colors (brown, yellow, orange, etc.)

This cardigan in black. It was on the sale rack and I got it for less than $10. SCORE!

This blouse. Yes, it's Maternity. So. What!?

This top. Again. Maternity.

Another cardigan I can't find a photo for, but the details are:

item #: 9015037543

SS Cardigan/Cream

Clearance $11.48

I've lost significant weight, over 7 pounds since I started going into the office everyday. I don't know what that's about, but I like it. They shut down our gym across the hall so I'll have to find another outlet for getting my exercise in. Maybe I'll order P90X or something. the Senator and I can do that together. Right!? My concern is, I like being between a size 6 and 8. I just don't want a flabby stomach. I don't want to have to buy an entirely new wardrobe, not matter how insane that sounds, I like my clothes and it's much easier to add a piece here and there versus beginning all over again. Right now, my sexy jeans from Ann Taylor, size 8, are fitting loose and my suit pants and literally sagging in the crotch. Not cute.

Tomorrow boss man of small vosb and I are meeting to discuss some issues I'm having with the position. I complained so much about it to my therapist and my husband and now that I've finally gotten a meeting with him, I'm afraid I don't know what to say. These are the things that are important to me. My spiritual growth, my family, my career. I sacrificed my W.E.L.L group for this contract in high hopes to gain phenomenal experience in it's place. I now realize that was a mistake. I should have negotiated a work-from-home day or not have agreed to work full-time. Another issue is I came in with hopes to hone and enhance my skills in sales and admin consulting. I feel like I'm being groomed to become a sales woman. I don't like this. Even thought boss lady of small vosb has given me an excel project I'm still not fully walking in the roll I was hired for. I feel mislead and deceived. I was very open and honest about what I wanted and I thought boss man and boss lady of small vosb understood, but obviously, I got taken and sold on a pipe dream. Unless I nip this in the bud now, I will find myself stressed, depressed, and right back where I was when I worked in health care as a medical secretary. I have too much at stake and can not. I repeat. CANNOT afford a lapse. Ya dig!? Monday night I was so out of it, I came home from my doctors appointment, put on my night clothes and laid on the couch. the Senator begged me to watch a movie with him, but I went to sleep. I got over 9 hours of sleep last night and woke up feeling..... better. Much better. So much better that I went in and requested a meeting. I feel like it will go well. I've decided that the only thing I can do to is confront it. Crawling into my hole of depression is so not a good look.... It's crazy because this (this moment right here, right now) is the first time I've said [typed] aloud my issues with depression. I mean, I have tendencies to go into deep holes and not a soul knows the difference. Not even hubby. Let's face it. Depression is lonely and I just don't like to be alone anymore. When I'm struggling, I want someone there to help me and the only way is to deal with it head on and find healthy outlets like cooking, W.E.L.L groups, therapy, etc.

This song has been my healing for the past day and a half.

Speaking of cooking, I'm not slacking. Right now I will sleep, but my plan is to rise early in the AM and cook pork loin with mushrooms and take that for lunch. Tomorrow night is my girlfriend A's b-day happy hour. We're meeting for drinks and that's always fun. Good girlfriends, good wine, Good Night.